Why are some major highways called “Turnpikes”? I’ve always wondered about the origins of that word. To me a turn is a change in direction, and a pike is what people heads are placed upon when they’ve been decapitated with extreme prejudice. Looks like I’m going to have to consult Google.

I am also fascinated lately with our proliferation of ships. Not the vessels that ply the oceans, but just the word, “ship” in places where it makes no sense. For example, in New England most towns aren’t towns, they’re townships. Why? I don’t call myself a manship or my house a homeship, so what sense does this make?

The companies that sell cars, which any sane person would refer to as “dealers”, also insist on calling themselves “dealerships” … and they’re such crooks, the word brings to me an image of a pirate ship filled with car salesmen. “Arrr, Jim boy, avast there and add me some destination charges, or ye’ll walk the plank, arrrrr.”

All right, it’s Jeopardy time here on Scott’s blog. The category is “Potent Emotables”. Today’s answer: What’s worse than a wife with PMS?

(jeopardy theme plays in the background)

OK, remember to phrase your answer in the form of a question. Ready?

That’s right, it’s today’s DAILY DOUBLE … What is A WIFE AND A TEENAGE GIRL WITH PMS AT THE SAME TIME FIGHTING EACH OTHER TOOTH AND NAIL FOR DAYS ON END?

What do we have for our lucky winner, Johnnie? HELL ON EARTH!!!

I will never, ever embrace homosexuality … but some days, I understand it.

I need some tea.