This assignment is very silly. The last one had potential, and I really tried to give it a go, but this one is just … well, cheesy. I’m gamely soldiering on, though, mostly to get this off my list so I can move on to better topics. Therefore, by reading this, you are, in a manner of speaking, consuming cheese.

It’s fairly easy to consume cheese without really thinking about it. Simply sitting through an episode of “Laverne & Shirley”, arguably the cheesiest sitcom ever perpetrated on TV viewers, probably counts as consuming cheese. It’s not particularly sharp cheese, either.

With that in mind, let’s move on to the idea of literal cheese. I recently drove a friend’s vehicle from Atlanta to Los Angeles, a trip of about three days’ duration, and during the trip, I snacked on little other than cheese. I am a self-proclaimed cheese nut, and I like all kinds, from pedestrian cheddar to snooty Brie to pungent Asiago and everything in between.

Consuming several pounds of cheese over a period of three days, I full expected some awful, painful sort of gastrointestinal disturbance, but oddly, none came. I felt pretty good, in fact. Maybe I’ll write a diet book entitled “I Once Consumed Cheese — The New Diet Revolution”, by Scott “Diet Author Who Is Not, At This Time, Dead” Johnson.

That’s it, I give up, there’s no way to squeeze anything remotely witty out of this topic. Done. Next?